Friday, 11 April 2008


That’s what I have become. It’s sad and pathetic and disgusting and frankly I am fed up of myself but to be honest with you, I have become one! My master is my new employer who is actually now dictating my life for me. And you know what I hate about this? I like it!

Oh fuck I am fed up of myself but I like this job. The official working hours are 8am to 6pm which even though might actually make my American readers say “that’s it, really” and make my friends from India shrug their shoulders and say “so what”, it is really something that was unheard of in the UK. In my last job I used to leave my house at about 8:55-9:00 am in the morning and used to take a leisurely stroll to my work. I would smile at others on the way, would stop to read new signs, would notice the change on the streets, houses etc etc and would eventually enter the office at about 09:15-09:20.

I would go through my emails, hop over to some guys and have some chat, come back onto my desk, do some work, raise my head from my monitors and make a comment on something someone said just now and get back to work.

I would take a lunch break about 12:30, come back by 2 and work/play some more. Often and I don’t care if my ex boss is now reading this because I don’t give a shit really :D, often I used to go for a quick movie in the afternoons ;). I would then leave the office at about 5:15, go to the gym, sweat out, leave the gym about 7 and take my walk back to the home.


Now I get up at 5:45 am, and zoom through the process of shit, shower and shave. I put on extreme business formal clothes (read suites) and am out of the house by 6:30. I sprint to the nearest train station, dash through the barriers and hop onto the next train to London Waterloo. Trust me I wouldn’t notice a stripping Pam Anderson if here satins were to hit me in the face while I am sprinting to the station. On my journey on train I would use my PDA to check my emails, reply back to family and friends to give them the impression that somehow I am still involved in their lives and before I know it I would hit London Waterloo. Jump out of the train, dash to the other platform to take the next train and push and shove and often trip people who get in the way. I would squeeze myself into the tube (the London underground trains) and hold my breath till I get off at the bank station because if I were to breathe I would

a) be taking more space while inhaling exhaling and space my dear friend is at its premium in rush hours in London tubes.

b) be inhaling some very very unpleasant smells from the mass of humanity around me that would promptly make me choke and eventually, retch.

I would run to the office and slide into the elvators. Here I am, clock ticking 7:55 am, inside the office and what do I see?

Most of the people actually come in at 7:30!

Oh fock me now Lord!

The day is crazy always. No access to outside emails, phones, messengers nothing. People hardly talk to each other. Everyone is this highly cultured sophisticated buttoned up well paid uptight snobbish jackass (okay include me too but mind you, I have just joined this week and hence I am still in the process of being moulded here!). The evenings are nothing but the same morning pattern of sprinting and shoving and running and pushing and tripping this time back to the home. By the time I get down at my station I am so exhausted that I cant even think about hitting the gym. While on my way back to the house from the station trust me I would still not notice that naked Pam Anderson if she were to come upto me and thrust her “endowments” into my face to make sure I am really not blind.

I didn’t join this place; I sold out for the money. It is a financial institution and yes the money is good, too good really. Hefty bonuses, marvellous perks (last xmas everyone in the office got either an iphone or ipod touch or a peronsal laptop depending on choice) and usual comforts that money can buy. I am on a slightly senior position, a very important role for the business and soon I would be managing a small division.

But that innocence from the life is missing. I feel as if I have killed a part of me, left it for dead in my last job. I don’t walk leisurely anymore, I don’t notice change on my town streets, I don’t recognize faces I see on my way.

Is this what is called called career progression? I would be honest with you completely and admit this is what I always wanted. I had worked with Morgan Stanley before and I had loved the finance domain. Ever since that job I wanted to get back in there with the traders on the trading floor and live in that high paced, fast moving, extremely electric money charged atmosphere.

I guess Oscar Wilde was very right when he said

“There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, the other is getting it.”

Ihave been here only for a while let's see how I fair. Stay in touch guys!


  1. Battering eyelashes said...
    Lol! Dont we all feel the same whenever we change a job? Hang in there, youd be allright. And yes you sold your soul, live with it.
    Jillian said...
    Hey now... your day doesn't sound half bad. And I could certainly make use off the NICE salary!

    Good luck getting adjusted!
    Mez said...
    Morgan Stanley..Wohoy! I shud just jump off my bldg for this. Iphone or lapi as a gift….Now am already ready to faint. Letz exhange places…I don mind running ard so much. Hehe.

    Ok ok I know what ya mean but earn all da moolah now n enjoi later. Just a bit of sacrifice haan.
    John F said...
    @BE: Nice name! I am trying to live with it :)

    @Jill: Thanks a lot Jill! What sux is that I can not access blogger from office :(

    @Mez: I am going to call you Annie cuz this Mez thing sounds too weird, cool? And yeah I was with them for an year or so but decided to move on. I have had the good fortune to work with some big names in the industry but what always amazed me is that the bigger they are, the more disorganized they seem! As for the iphone, my manager hinted that HR might still have some left and he would try and get me one :D
    Krystal said...
    Right, and that's what banking is all about eh. Haha, I would think it's a good industry to hide yourself from the world in :)
    John F said...
    Nice to see you again Krystal. What exactly do you mean though? How does one hide oneself by working in finance? My over brain under priviliged excuse of a brain didnt quiet get that :P

    Besides how would you know? You work in banks yourself or what?
    Krystal said...
    I'd think hiding behind piles of work is a good way of escaping the world. And you can obviously do that in any sorta industry. But the way you described your job, the industry sounded like a good option..
    John F said...
    Oh I see what you meant...well to be honest there is too much work pressure. I have worked for the BPO, Pharmaceutical, Travel and Tourism and Finance and yes finance is where there is maximum work pressure.

    But like I said I actually love this atmosphere of intense pressure. Pushes me to the limits and I love doing that. Whenever I push myself to the limits I find new ones.

    Neways how about you shedding some light on yourself?
    Mez said...
    U can pass on the xtra ones this side.LOl
    John F said...
    Sure, why not Annie. What do you want me to do? click a photo of the gadget, post it on my blog and dedicate the post to you? :P
    freesherry said...
    if u r doing what u love.. not having the time to notice pam anderson's "endowments" shouldn't matter that much should it?? ;)
    John F said...
    @Sherry: You have to be a guy to be able to understand that ;)
    Krystal said...
    So you love the pressure and finding new limits, but you want to stroll around and take movie breaks. I reckon you need to decide ;)

    As for me, I have lately been wanting to run away and hide from the world. And before you ask me why, let me just say that I have my reasons. Maybe I'll check out the finance industry sometime lol.
    John F said...
    You got it right but in the wrong order Krystal..I want to stroll leisurely and then push myself to the limits.
    Movie breaks are taken when one limit is pushed and another achieved ;)

    Hop on into fin then, maybe join the same hedge fund that I did, its one of the 20 biggest in the UK ;)
    Anonymous said...

    I have started a blog namely Chef Friday Brunch to challenge the creative musings within to come up with a piece of writing on a theme of the week that would change every Friday. You can write up a post which can be a story, poem, prose based on the theme or the prompt on your blog if you find the theme interesting and drop a comment on my blog providing the link to your post. I would collate the links at the end of week and post it on my blog. Please do spread the word around if you find it interesting.


    Anonymous said...
    Hey i m bak and why is the so many u's in my blog link ?
    Mirage said...
    Yikes! Talk about living life in the fast lane! Sorry, make that supersonic lane!

    Jeez, I guess we gotta make a few sacrifices in life. Too bad, we can't be what we wanna be, and can't do what we wanna do, too bogged down by pressures of life. But as long as we know when to say STOP, I think it's alright to be busy for a while. After all, if not now, then when? :)

    All the best with the new job man! and congrats on the fat paycheck! ;)
    Anonymous said...
    so finally u got ur own good lil nice black 3 col template john ;). u wid morgan stanley ? NY ?
    John F said...
    Chef: Apologies m8, I have been out of the blogging action really. I would try and check this out ASAP!

    Enigma, A, Engimatic A - Sometimes I think you are suffering from a MPD! Decide on one identity and stick to that will you!! The reason for so many u's is is to emphasis the fact that when I cry out loud updating my blogger template its your name that comes up first and it usually goes like Ashuuuuuuuuuuuuuu HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALPPPP!!!

    LOL! yeah I worked hard for once I managed to get this template right all by my self. And no I am not with MoS NY. I was with them in London about 3 years ago. I am with a hedge fund now in London city.

    Mirage - my my words of wisdom! Seems the conjugal spirits are beating more sense than sensuality into this soon bride to be eh ;)!? Yes I made this choice and yes I am having second thoughts about it, but the kind of man I am, I would ride this out no matter what!

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